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Joke of the Day
"""On my way"" I said, pretending to drive my bed."
Next Joke
"There's a new restaurant opening called Kentucky Freud Chicken... ...It's motherfucking good."
"What is worse than an alligator with toothache ? A centipede with athlete's foot !"
"If you had a 14 inch penis growing out of your forehead how much of it could you see? None because you would have two balls in your eyes."
"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""
"memes http://imgur.com/qe7LBx5 there"
"Why can't Bill Gates get a girlfriend? Because his penis is Microsoft."
"Heard the one about the corduroy pillowcase? It's making headlines."
"[date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman"
"Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position!"