202402

Joke of the Day

"WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either"

"Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop? Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice."

"What do you call a conversation at a proctologist meeting? Butt-Talks"

"I texted my girlfriend ""I love you"" and she texted back ""I love you more. When I went to respond I made a typo and sent ""I love you moist""....I figured why correct it, it's true too."

"Feminists are basically Lesbians who don't want to admit it."

"Pretty sure most of the people in coffee shops on lap tops are just writing letters to their parents asking if they can move back home."

"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."

"I once farted in an Apple Store and everyone got pissed.. It's not my fault they don't have Windows"

"Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter."

"I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have !"