195422

Joke of the Day

"Don't let that ""Metalica"" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' ""Wrecking Ball"""

"What do you call a woman with no clitoris ? What ever you want. She isn't going to come."

"I saw some girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off... ...so i rolled down my window and threw my beer at her."

"My jumper cables stopped working the other day So I called triple A to bounce up my trampoline"

"Whats so great about twenty-five year olds? There's 20 of them! (I can't believe this isn't a repost.)"

"Why should you never race with a guy from Finland? Because they're already Finnish before the race even began"

"""My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am."" - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car"

"[getting escorted out of zoo] ""I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"""

"I took an instagram picture of a polaroid photo and my iPhone blew up."

"A man walks into a bar... The man is now in a serious coma since he was stupid enough not to wear a hardhat in a construction zone."