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Joke of the Day

"Nothing much worse than being forced to listen to someone else's music and not be able to tell them their taste is shit."

"A secretary walks into her boss's office and says, ""Can I use your Dictaphone?"" He says, ""No, dial with your finger like everyone else."""

"Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch? Holm School"

"Just saw John Cena! lol jk"

"Did you know Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for christmas? He said it was the best book he's ever read"

"What was Hitler's favorite way to tie his boots? In Nazi's!"

"My friend told me he hasn't pooped in over a month, but I'm not sure I believe him... ...either way he's full of shit."

"[walks into gym with my sunglasses on] WHATS UP LADIES *takes off sunglasses* damn it 3rd treadmill I've hit on this week"

"If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days."

"Why do black men have nightmares? We killed the only one who had a dream."