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Joke of the Day

"Spider-Man's Aunt May is now portrayed by Marisa Tomei..... At first they cast Caitlin Jenner....but they decided *Aunt-Man* was too easily confused with *Ant-Man*"

"When you get pulled over by a cop... A cop pulled me over and said ""Papers..."" So I said ""Scissors!"" and drove off ; )"

"*affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible"

"What did the White crayon say to the Black crayon? We make a GRAY team!"

"What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line? A full set of teeth"

"Coconut water: for people who love the taste of piss but don't wanna deal with the social stigma of drinking it."

"My daughter got her dress caught in the escalator and I had to walk away fast so people wouldn't think she was with me."

"The spork is the hermaphrodite of utensils."

"My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away."

"There are 10 kind of people in this world Those who understand binary and those who don't."