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Joke of the Day

"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."

"Insurance costs are so outrageous the only healthcare most Americans can afford is from Dr. Pepper."

"The best part about being an abortionist..? [NSFW] I haven't had to buy dog food in a long, long time."

"If I have 10 cookies and someone takes one away - how many cookies do I have? 10 cookies and some bloody knuckles"

"How did the turtle with no arms and no legs cross the freeway? Here's a hint: take the F out of Free and take the F out of Way"

"A clairvoyant, palm-reading midget escaped from prison last night. You shoulda seen the headline in this morning's paper..... ""SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"""

"I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her. Bonus: It was a short relationship."

"My brother used to think the suicide lane is for committing suicide. He only made the mistake once though"

"Don't move, I know what I'm doing. *takes a nap"

"I've got a great sense of humor *closes eyes and tilts head slightly upward* yes. there is humor nearby. 40, no, 50 yards from here"