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Joke of the Day

"I'm with North Korea when comes to being offended by James Franco and Seth Rogen."

"[Speaking at funeral] We made it guys it's Friday"

"Boarding from what gate?"

"Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine. Wisdom is realizing that this does not make a Jagerbomb a study tool"

"Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same color trunks."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a six offender."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own question? I do."

"Due to a gypsy curse, I gain weight each time I consume more calories than are burned by my basal metabolic rate plus daily activities."

"FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys"

"I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey... But I turned myself around."