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Joke of the Day

"1816: a grizzly bear ate my mom as she fetched drinking water. 1916: I'm in a muddy trench, bleeding internally. 2016: IM OFFENDED!"

"Q: What do you call a cow who's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated."

"What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!"

"Your mom's got eight vaginas and a Ph.D. We call her Dr. Octopus."

"What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when he hits the windshield? His ass."

"Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want."

"New Mexican word for today: Brief Today, my homie farted so hard, I could barely brief"

"What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh."

"Mexican artists were hired to make Donald Trump look more ""authentic"" to the Mexican demographic. So they drew a bunch of penises on his face."

"The classiest knock knock joke in existence [Fixed] Two guys walk into a bar"