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Joke of the Day
"Thinking of leaving a fake bloody arm inside the blood pressure machine at this CVS pharmacy."
Next Joke
"What can be found in a cannibal's shower? head & shoulders"
"*At the pearly gates* St Peter: Welcome to heaven. I'll show you around. Me: Sooo many oysters must've died to make this gate."
"I like my women like I like my doctors Always asking me to take my clothes off whenever I see them."
"Have you heard about the kleptomaniac that robbed that fish market? They say he did it, ""just for the halibut."""
"Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen."
"NASA was planning on building a restaurant on the moon They cancelled because they figured it wouldn't have any atmosphere."
"WIFE: Did you buy eggs? ME: Even better. I bought a goat. W: How is that better? M: *stares confusedly for a full minute* How is it not?"
"Sarah Jessica Parker had a leaked sex tape... The man has been arrested for bestiality."
"If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage."