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Joke of the Day

"An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile."

"What's a pedo's favorite kind of shoe? White vans"

"I finally found a thread where OP delivered! It was a boy."

"Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C! [ I'm^so^sorry ]"

"Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas? Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around."

"Moths must love dying because they get to go towards the light. Ughh I just anthropomorphised moths with unverified human ideas about death."

"9 out of 10 people agree that it's weird to stand on top of the toilet and ask them survey questions over the stall wall."

"Why do they name all hurricanes after women? Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car"

"Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today? Abraham Lincoln."

"* drinks 6 pack of muscle milk * * checks for abs *"