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Joke of the Day

"Why do they name all hurricanes after women? Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car"

"You'd think there'd be more mirrors in the self-checkout aisle. As far as I know I made this joke up."

"Dirty limerick... There was a girl from Peru Grammar to her was new She asked after the deed With her mouth full of seed Did I just blow or blew?"

"Why do French tanks have a rear-view mirror? To see the front"

"Why did the seamen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"I just got my roof painted. The painters worked all day long, when I asked them how much I had to pay, they just replied, ""Don't worry about the paint, it's on the house. """

"My 2015 new years resolution 1920x1080"

"How do you know if a girl is dating a vampire? They only wanna go down on her once a month"

"Roses are red.. Violets are blue... If Rebecca Black wins a Grammy, Kanye, you know what to do!"

"Your ex asking if you can still be friends is like kidnappers saying ""keep in touch"" after they let you go."