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Joke of the Day
"Get out, RUN! That DM was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE"
Next Joke
"Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she said, ""Remember, you have a wife."""
"Come here you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad I know how !"
"Deuteronomy Believe it or not - it isn't the field of study of deuterium."
"oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight"
"GF: every time we fight you start interpretive dancing *i dance beautifully for 12 minutes* GF: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"
"Stepping on a #LEGO sucks. But showing a bunch of kids I know how to use the F word as a noun/verb/adjective in one sentence is good, right?"
"Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today. JK"
"I'm the Spare Queen All I know is how to make a mess and then make sense of it."
"What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!"