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Joke of the Day

"Stepping on a #LEGO sucks. But showing a bunch of kids I know how to use the F word as a noun/verb/adjective in one sentence is good, right?"

"how do u do molly safely? wear a condm."

"A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him."

"I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add ""This time I'm serious"""

"""Nine Foods You Should Never Eat Again"" Also known as the contents of my refrigerator."

"Why do circumcised men lack Jedi brethren? The procedure removes their force-kin."

"Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile Not me though, I just live next door to a 10 year old with a hot piece of ass"

"Well... cats clean themselves... and we *are* out of toilet paper..."

"What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts? M'rauders Map"

"DOCTOR: Push again, the baby is- MOTHER: IS SOMETHING WRONG? DOCTOR: [holding phone] No, I just caught a Jigglypuff up in there."