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Joke of the Day

"oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight"

"Roses are dead, violets are dead, ... I'm a bad gardener"

"When done right parallel parking is a beautiful thing to watch."

"Let's make this bar joke week. Here's one to start: A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"What would the headline read if an average redditor were killed by a venemous spider bite? Brown Recluse Kills White Recluse"

"Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself."

"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"

"Why did the 14 year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay."

"Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one."

"Me: ""Want a banana?"" 3yo: ""Yes, but don't cut it up. And don't peel it. And don't make it be a banana. Make it be a waffle."""