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Joke of the Day

"GF: every time we fight you start interpretive dancing *i dance beautifully for 12 minutes* GF: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

"Let's play a game: If you were stranded forever on a desert island and had only one book of Russian literature, how would you kill yourself?"

"Hey where's Brian? ""Oh he's taking a p_ _p"" A what? ""Um dropping a d_ _c_"" Huh? ""Taking a sh_t....Uhh Cr_p!"" Oh! He's evacuating his vowels?"

"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about it."

"Energy Drink OD = Black out and wake up in a bookstore signing copies of the book ""Part-time Boy: The Unauthorized Biography of Lady Gaga."""

"hi Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage? Because it was deep space . (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)"

"what's up guys welcome 2 mtv cribs 2016 edition today we gonna show you how white peoples homes are oppressive"

"I knew this girl, she's really deep; she'd always find a reason to preach about how size does matter..."

"BREAKING NEWS: A man breaks two ribs while laying in bed! ...and we'll return after this short commercial with more on how a man attempted to suck his own penis!"

"Need to get up early tomorrow so I've set my neighbor's leaf blower for 6 a.m."