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Joke of the Day

"Deuteronomy Believe it or not - it isn't the field of study of deuterium."

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"I lose bobby pins in my hair. Please don't ask me to babysit your kids."
"Rather than buy a gun, I've been studying ""Home Alone"" and now defend my home with marbles and old gangster movies."
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"Wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision's gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray."
"I thought I saw an original joke today Turns out I just misreddit"
"A love letter to my iPhone The apple of my I"
"Ellen Pao walked into a bar The bar bent. Bartender served her 3 sets of jumbo meals. Bartender had to repair the door."
"Handicapped jokes are so cruel I can't stand them!!"
"Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal"