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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid by this chick."

"A geologist hit a man with his car. What crime is he accused of? Vesicular Basalt"

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? America can't milk a cow for 14 years."

"I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage."

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And then a table, and then a stool."

"The biggest problem with getting my picture taken is anytime someone says ""Cheese!"" My immediate response is ""Where!!"""

"My jokes are like my penis make feminists gag"

"""I'll be black"" the potato dramatically announced moments before going into Sarah Connor's freezer -The Termintator"

"How does Hillary Clinton clean her glasses? By deleting the mainframe."

"They're calling the internet a drug now. Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as Cocaine or Heroin. They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug."