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Joke of the Day

"They're calling the internet a drug now. Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as Cocaine or Heroin. They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug."

"What is the recipe for honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes"

"What's the worst part about being gay? Making love is a real pain in the ass."

"Why does flint never get any likes on their Instagram pictures? Cause they don't use a filter."

"I understand exponents To a degree"

"I've banged a lot of hoes and I'm planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy."

"What do you call someone who is obsessed with a constant breeze? a 'fan'atic."

"(God creating coyotes) God: Make them look like dogs. Angel: Exactly like dogs? God: But with a meth problem."

"Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again."

"Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support."