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Joke of the Day

"I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away."

"StubHub should really be a place where single amputees meet."

"Man in a pasture face down A man lays face down in the pasture with a backpack on his back and flies buzzing around him. Question: Whats in his backpack? Answer: Parachute"

"That thin line between ""I should tweet that"" or ""I should talk to my therapist about that""..."

"Why is marriage like thin toilet paper? Because you end up with a ring on your finger."

"How do you find a blind man in a strip club? It isn't hard"

"What is a rock's favorite band? The Rolling Stones."

"I like microwaves that spin the food around because I'm all, oh yeah, hot pocket, looking good, girl, from the front AND the back uh huh."

"What's the best part about having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around the front and pretending your dick went all the way through."

"I really needed something positive in my life so I finally got tested."