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Joke of the Day

"Man in a pasture face down A man lays face down in the pasture with a backpack on his back and flies buzzing around him. Question: Whats in his backpack? Answer: Parachute"

"A tray of muffins is in the oven. One muffin says ""Woo; it's hot in here."" An adjacent muffin exclaims, ""Whoa! A talking muffin!"""

"Some Warning Labels are a little retarded, like on my Deodorant it says, ""Avoid Contact with Eyes""....TOO LATE, I've already seen it!!!"

"What do you call Hindu ideas about pacifism? Naan Violence"

"How do you make Ben Carson yell? Watch a movie with him."

"[OC] I've got a broken yo-yo for sale. Anyone want to buy it? No strings attached"

"Me: Why doesn't he love me? Nachos: Eat more of me and find out! Me: *Chewing* So? Nachos: We need outside counsel. Send pizza down here."

"How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one of course, as we are highly efficient and have absolutely no sense of humour."

"shoutout to all the objects in my perceptual field. u know who u are ;)"

"What's another name for chicken breasts? Chitties"