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Joke of the Day

"Best exercise to lose a few pounds... So my friend who is a fitness instructor just came up with a new exercise to lose pounds in just a matter of days. He calls it the ""Brexit""."

"How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair."

"Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations."

"What's 10 inches long and white? Nothing."

"People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with ""lol"" should be shot."

"They should make a tabletop game about space marines saving for retirement Call it Warhammer 401k"

"People are weird. Everyone knows door handles spread disease, but whenever I ask a business owner if I can clean his knob I get thrown out."

"What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell. She's got a grenade in her mouth."

"What does a prostitute and a lawyer have in common? They both screw you for $300 per hour. What's the difference? Most prostitutes have standards."

"Everyone's talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying."