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Joke of the Day

"Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations."

"When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Barack Obama is not a Jew. We think."

"Casual conversations are just like casual sex. I don't know how to have either one."

"Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25."

"Our kids seem to prefer Kraft mac and cheese over the usual spaghetti noodles and crushed up generic Doritos."

"If I were cloned I'd be beside myself with confusion. Really, I'd probably see double."

"A dog and a cat walk into a bar. One starts licking its ass and the other says ""Two can play that game!"" They forget about drinks."

"How do you circumcise a Trump supporter? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? u/ShittyJokeExplainBot's explanations."