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Joke of the Day
"How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair."
Next Joke
"Remember to crowd around the baggage carousel like it's armageddon and the bags are the last remaining food items on earth, you animals."
"A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, ""Dry?"" The German replies, ""Nein, just one."""
"Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman."
"I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job. He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable."
"Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and.. .. now I'm in a world of pain :D (source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)"
"I was thinking about making a sodium joke ...but Na."
"Why ed has no girlfriend? Cz sheeran"
"Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory! I only took a day off!"