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Joke of the Day
"Contrary To Popular Belief, Chuck Norris Won Super Bowl 46. By Phone"
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"[oc] What do you call a 100 year old whale? A hunchback whale."
"What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas."
"Having trouble making friends? Just tell a girl you love her and her first reaction is to say lets just be friends."
"What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad? Mediyolkre."
"*admires David at the museum* I can't believe a teenage mutant ninja turtle sculpted this"
"I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said ""Work hard, Pray hard"".... I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians."
"If you're not part of the solution, you're either a solid or a gas."
"[During sex] Me: I know you want me to be ""naughty"", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume."
"How do you make a man from New Zealand fall asleep? Ask him to count how many sexual partners he has had (Because they're sheep fuckers)."