137319

Joke of the Day

"[During sex] Me: I know you want me to be ""naughty"", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume."

"What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian? Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv."

"I often wonder how different it would be if I were to go back to grade school Not so much with the knowledge I have now, but with the penis I have now"

"I had a friend in a wheelchair but i had to let him go Now hes going downhill fast"

"What did Ahab say when Moby Dick raised his tail? Whale shit!"

"Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days."

"Protestants sing every verse to every hymn. Catholics know this. We think about it when we get to the bakery 20 minutes ahead of you."

"How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ? 'Voodoo like to dance with me ?'"

"Help with telegraph/Morse code joke I am doing a presentation on the Telegraph and my teacher is a sucker for a good joke/pun. Any help?"

"What is Brazil's favorite game right now? Hide and go zika"