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Joke of the Day

"You guys wanna hear a miscarriage joke? Wait, it would probably come out wrong..."

"A squirrel needs about two pounds of acorns a week to survive. That's nuts!"

"Scooters are like ... fat girls. They're fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one."

"Did you hear about the power surge across the street? I heard it was a shocking experience."

"Marriage means always wanting to scream ""Shut the fuck up"" but instead saying ""OK honey""."

"I play hard to get; if it's hard, you're getting it."

"what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? nsfw an erection"

"Why did the man sleep after being run over by a car? Because he got tired."

"You can tell a lot about a person's personality by the type of car they drive. I haven't got one."

"You're not a REAL American until you're at least 30 lbs overweight."