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Joke of the Day

"WHY *smack* DON'T *smack* YOU *smack* JUST *smack* USE *smack* THE *smack* RETWEET *smack* BUTTON?"

"My companies biggest customer is the state of Missouri. I guess it's safe to say Missouri loves my company."

"Donald Trump just announced Mike Pence to be his Running Mate. If Hillary wants to one up Trump in that regard, her running mate should be Mike Tuppence."

"Fun Fact: If you lie down in an aisle at Walmart for a couple hours, they will tag you and put you in a clearance bin."

"Why do Muslims hate Hitler? My friend told me this 'joke' after he found out I was Muslim. Him: Why do Muslims hate Hitler? Me: Why? Him: He didn't kill ALL the Jews."

"What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice."

"I got sacked from a job for smiling too much... I said, ""If I can't smile on the job, get yourself another undertaker."""

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."

"So I met a Jewish girl at the bar last night... [NSFW] She asked me for my number so I wrote it on her arm. Haven't heard from her since..."

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."