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Joke of the Day

"So I met a Jewish girl at the bar last night... [NSFW] She asked me for my number so I wrote it on her arm. Haven't heard from her since..."

"In middle school chuck Norris was assigned an essay about what courage was. He got an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with his name on it."

"Why was skrillex banned from the music shop? for dropping the bass too much"

"What would you rather be stamped on by a herd of elephants or an angry woman in high heels... At least the elephants you could reason with"

"Why do ostriches have long necks? Because their heads are so far from their bodies!"

"How to know you're a Redneck When you look at your sister and think ""I'd bang her""."

"People who process expired passports are so lazy they're always cutting corners. (Joel Dommett)"

"I need Hike Employee: I need Hike. H.R : Install it from play store."

"I'm a proud member of DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia."

"So I walked in to a brothel.. And shortly after entering I began assaulting everyone in the queue...then...umm...shit nevermind, I just punched up the fuckline."