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Joke of the Day

"Halloween is coming up. This is the best time to teach your kids about taxes and social security... Take away 30% of their Halloween candy and promise them you'll give part of it back in 70 years!"

"Ok I have 2 short jokes and a long one. joke joke jooooooooooooooke. I'll show myself out."

"I gave my Chinese mate some sweets yesterday... He said, oh these are Haribo! Well if you don't like them, don't eat them then."

"I wonder if back street boys have there own lunch room? a Bac-a-teria.THANK YOU ,THANK YOU VERY MUCH LADIES AND GERMS."

"2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy! Me: Oh ok then 2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy! Me: huh? 2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY"

"Jewish fun fact: If you celebrate Passover on top of an overpass, you go back in time."

"Why does everyone find the absolute value of zero so funny? l0l"

"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even."

"Me: They were out of tampons, so I got you a box of bandaids instead. Her:"

"My stages of awkward: Sober me: I don't know what to do with my hands Drunk me: I don't know what to do with my face High me: What face?"