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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."

"Knock knock... Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget :("

"If you cool your body down to -273,16 degrees celsius.. ..you'd be 0K"

"How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey? Nuked"

"First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks ""is that your puppy?"" say ""No. That's my dad."" Then storm off."

"I'm human, but I never got to go to space. Dogs and monkeys *aren't human, but they did. That's the gist of my lawsuit against NASA."

"Do you know why the ""deez nuts"" guy is in prison? He's nuts."

"A joke There was a dragon one time who didn't care about shit. It was real mad a lot. It said, ""fuck you"" to just about every one. Except for this one guy who he kinda liked."

"What do crocs and getting a blowjob from a man have in common? They both feel great until you look down and realise you are gay."

"Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow."