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Joke of the Day

"The good news is, I found my phone charger in my bed while I was vacuuming my sheets. The bad news is, you read that 2nd part correctly."

"David Sedaris on Willie Nelson What's the last thing you want to hear when giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""

"Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather."

"Student: ""May I go to the toilet?"" Teacher: ""What for?"" Student: ""To open the Chamber of Secrets"""

"What do bad photographs and the Irish famine have in common? Potato quality"

"The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach. At least that's what the crazy woman with the butcher knife kept saying at the murder scene."

"Being left-handed is unacceptable. It's just not right...."

"What's the difference between Polio and 9/11? The government actually wanted to stop Polio."

"At a gag gift exchange, I gave a woman a hotdog and a condom She said ""Frankly, I never sausage a small weiner."""

"Who was the first Mexican to be knighted by the Queen? Sir Veza"