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Joke of the Day

"Student: ""May I go to the toilet?"" Teacher: ""What for?"" Student: ""To open the Chamber of Secrets"""

"If you hear that someone prefers natural light. You can assume they are not discussing beer."

"Two guys walk into a bar You'd think one of them would have seen it"

"Taken 4: Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped again. He calls up kidnappers and says ""just keep her. She's annoying and I'm tired of this"""

"[junkyard dog barking viciously and running directly at me] Me: Wow he must really want me to pet him"

"Dysentery It's a shitty way to die."

"What's the difference between a elephant and a banana?"

"A book fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame"

"A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, ""Got any ID?"" The driver says, ""'Bout what?"""

"Well, if anything, the Mayans DID teach us ONE valuable lesson. If you don't finish something...it's really not the end of the world."