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Joke of the Day

"David Sedaris on Willie Nelson What's the last thing you want to hear when giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""

"A guy walked up to my bar. He said, ""Can I have a stiff drink?"" ""Of course,"" I replied, cracking some Viagra pills into his whiskey."

"I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man."

"How did the pepper end up getting killed? A salt with deadly weapon"

"Had sex while camping the other day.... It was fucking in tents....."

"What did one bird say to another bird on New Year's? WOW THAT YEAR FLEW BY *slaps knee, then crawls back under rock*"

"How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!"

"Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: It's not real bright but it's cheap and spreads easy."

"Kim Kardashian is a big fan of Einstein After she discovered he invented reality tv"

"I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship."