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Joke of the Day

"The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach. At least that's what the crazy woman with the butcher knife kept saying at the murder scene."

"Q: What is a dentist's office? A: A filling station."

"When men say ""I'm fine"" they actually mean it. Weirdos."

"I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. ""Oh yeah?"" he asks. ""Have you sold anything yet?"" I said, ""Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."""

"*stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*"

"the kidz bop version of gangnam style plays 24hrs a day in hell. do you accept jesus christ as your lord and saviour?"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"You can run but you can't hide Is a funny thing to say to children with asthma"

"Did you hear the story about the frog? It was ribbeting."

"Me: Goodnight Moon *Moon favs but doesn't reply*"