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Joke of the Day

"If she's wong.... she cant be white."

"Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again."

"How can you tell when a vampire is sick? By his coffin!"

"John Boehner is lucky Pope Francis didn't splash any holy water on him. He wouldn't have been crying. He would have burst into flames."

"The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby..."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They'll just arrest the light for being broke and beat the room for being black."

"I think I love my girlfriend... But I need to ask Rudy Guliani to be sure."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? Wheres my tractor!"

"With hindsight, answering the door with one unshaven leg, one dripping with blood & radioheads ""creep"" blaring out probably didn't help."

"Lorena Bobbit and Jeffery Dahmer This is an old one... What did Jeff say to Lorena after she cut her husband's penis off? You gonna eat that?"