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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell when a vampire is sick? By his coffin!"

"Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor? ""STOP RESISTING!!!"""

"I saw a lake monster!!! He was walking up out of the water and onto the shore!!! Littorally!!!"

"<---- homeless romantic"

"Life is like a penis Simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely. Then women make it hard."

"Pokemon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere"

"The best part of the birthday notifier on Facebook is, I meet people that I didn't even know were on my friends list."

"What did socialists use before candles? Light bulbs."

"How cowboys are made ""Dad?"" ""Yes, son?"" ""Where do Cowboys come from?"" ""Well, son. When a cow and a boy love each other very, very much..."""

"Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see ""Closed for Winter""."