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Joke of the Day

"What is the Mexicans favorite credit card company? Capital Juan"

"Spelling is very important in cosmetic surgery no one wants buttocks injected into their face"

"To the guy who named cotton candy: Yes! It looks just like it sounds. To the guy who named Milk Duds: What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true."

"Maybe your d*ck is so small because half of it is in your personality."

"*family meeting at Noah's house* who wants us to do what by when?"

"Imitation is the sincerest form of crabmeat."

"My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don't have a little brother..."

"What do you get when you cross my brain with a cat? A cat."

"I went to a job interview at EA The interviewer, after reading my CV, said: ""I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"" ""Page two is 19.99$"""