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Joke of the Day

"Maybe your d*ck is so small because half of it is in your personality."

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"What do you call a fish with no eyes A fsh"
"Jeez make one joke about putting cyanide in someone's food and suddenly they don't want you to cook for them anymore"
"When I ask my wife if she wants help, she changes the subject and asks if a bear shits in the woods, like I'm some sort of bear scientist."
"What is it called when a turtle is mentally retarded? Reptile disfunction. ."
"Couldn't finish my plate of breakfast nachos, so now I'm furiously searching WebMD for what ails me."
"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the pre-school? He woke up."
"Did you hear about the race between Cambodia and Burma? It was a Thai."
"What do you call an egg that cures cancer? A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son."
"A British wizard walks into a gay bar... ...and disappears with a poof"