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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to run errands, need anything? ""Yes, some new light bulbs"" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? ""And a good divorce lawyer"""

"I like my violence how I like my beer... Domestic."

"Why will you never go hungry in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there."

"Roses are red.. Violets are blue... If Rebecca Black wins a Grammy, Kanye, you know what to do!"

"I don't always take the derivative of x^2.... But when I do, it's dos equis."

"Sometimes when I'm alone in my room I squat down, grab hold of my ankles and lean forward. Coz that's how I roll."

"Question and Answer Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements"

"Why was the clownfish sad? Because its friends were anemones."

"What's the difference between hard and light? You can sleep with a light on."

"What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor...? Make me one with everything."