180525
Joke of the Day
"I don't always take the derivative of x^2.... But when I do, it's dos equis."
Next Joke
"What do light and hard have in common? You can sleep with a light on."
"I always take my dates straight to the movies after dinner. That way she doesn't have the chance to ask me why I eat soup with my hands."
"- Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer? - Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with ""Please wait while your computer shuts down""..."
"If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is."
"I don't know what you do when you come across a bear, But I just wipe it off and apologize."
"My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization."
"This woman's ""I'm deleting my Facebook"" post has 52 comments and she's replied to all of them. Not a strong start."
"Facebook tells me today is ""National Winnie the Pooh Day"" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office"
"My cat is an artist He drew blood"