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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I'm alone in my room I squat down, grab hold of my ankles and lean forward. Coz that's how I roll."

"Racist joke What's the difference between a cupcake and a Jewish person? A cupcake doesn't burn othe oven"

"Son: what shall I go as to the Halloween party, mum? Mum: Hang your GCSE results around your neck and go as a fucking idiot, son."

"I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low."

"What's a pilots least favorite holiday? May Day!"

"[catching breath at friends house] I was being chased by a bike cop so I threw up a left turn signal but actually turned right and it worked"

"Why did the cop shoot the insomniac? He was resisting a rest"

"My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive."

"The Rock is going to have a kid, which they'll name Pebbles."

"Policeman: What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident."