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Joke of the Day

"[in a normal speaking voice from top row of football stadium] Good luck today guys"

"Me: Hey, can I have an Iphone 7 please? Apple guy: Possibly... What's your name? Me: Jack Apple guy: Sorry, no jacks."

"In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains: ""Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."""

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Banzai Barbie ...a small tree cut into a shape that vaguely resembles Barbie"

"I love the people in parking lots with ""free kittens"" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn't be oppressed."

"A Scotsman walks into a bar usually he is with an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman but they are all in France for the Euros."

"Dear guy who invented taking pictures of yourself in a mirror with a cell phone: Do you see what you've done? I hope you're happy."

"I wanted to get rid of my body hair through laser hair removal But it grew on me"

"How do you call a singing PC? a dell"

"So I was on tindr today and someone offered me a $125/hr ""girlfriend experience"" So she expects me to pay her 125 an hour to argue with me in the middle of an Applebee's!?"