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Joke of the Day

"Dear guy who invented taking pictures of yourself in a mirror with a cell phone: Do you see what you've done? I hope you're happy."

"Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games"

"I like my pork butts like I like my women Slathered in BBQ sauce, stuffed in a pot, and then cut up when the lid doesn't fit right."

"Here's two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke."

"Knock-Knock [pic]"

"Leia: *gasps* Chewbacca, you're naked! Chewbacca: *hastily puts back on his bandoleer*"

"you can't please everybody. if you could, you'd probably be pansexual."

"I take the time every night to read Facebook statuses to my children as part of my stay in school campaign."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Cause Jewish women won't take anything unless its 10% off."

"Freddie Mercury: ""Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?"" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: ""Perfect!"" *snorts another line of coke*"