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Joke of the Day

"so people are okay with batman wearing a cape but when i do it i ""need to put my hospital gown on the right way"""

"""It's 3am and everyone is asleep. Must run into random rooms as fast as I can and jump on everything"" - cats"

"Did you hear about the dimwit who went to visit his girlfriend and found she didn't have very much on? He went back nine months later and she had a little moron."

"Whats the most confusing day in Harlem? Father's day."

"Why did the young boat dock before it was ready? Pier Pressure"

"""Hey, careful with that iPod, man, that was expensive."" ""So? You didn't pay for it."" And that's how my kid learned the truth about Santa."

"[drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?"

"i went to a bookshop And asked for a book about tortoises. The woman asked ""hardback?"" I said ""yeah, and little heads."""

"The Binding Of Isaac Movie Just imagine The Binding Of Isaac Movie. He will find a Brimstone, Spoon Bender and Holy Mantle . It will be a pretty short movie I guess."

"He wants my carcasses apparently. I think autocorrect won that round."