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Joke of the Day

"I love the people in parking lots with ""free kittens"" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn't be oppressed."

"*logs into Facebook *looks at pictures of people hugging their boyfriends *comments 'is that your dad' on all of them *logs out of Facebook"

"I hope there's not a huge turnout at my Claustrophobic's Anonymous meeting tonight."

"*training the dog to sit* Me: So you're already low to the ground, but you must get lower."

"If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material."

"I fucked your mom! Shut up dad."

"I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ... which this post is too short to contain"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?....To get to the idiots house. Knock knock....Who's there.....The Chicken"

"Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I'm in public"

"The year is 1981. Everybody's working for the weekend. 2044: the weekend becomes sentient. 2048: Everybody's working for the weekend."