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Joke of the Day

"Why was the tree in prison because it committed treeson"

"The introduction of Yoga Pants have been found to be the cause of a 0.65 drop in the GPA of Males. I dont have significant data to back this up, But i have some notes from college that show causation."

"How do I submit a joke? Do I hand my life in?"

"I don't mind when a waitress says, ""Is Pepsi fine?"" when I ask for some coke. But when my drug dealer says it, it's kind of annoying"

"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"

"I've been offered a new, highly demanding job testing the new Super-strength Viagra'. I think I'll take it, how hard can it be?"

"What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day? Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?"

"Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media."

"Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's been FUCKING CHICKENS!!!"

"""Are you okay?"" Me anytime I meet someone named Annie."