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Joke of the Day

"Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media."

"""Find something you love to do and you'll never work another day in your life."" Because you'll be home masturbating all the damned time."

"Airport Security: has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge, sir? Sir: How the hell am I supposed to answer that?"

"*gets on 1 knee* Jenny... ""OMG"" *places hand on heart and starts crying* ""This is great!"" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7.938? It was being irrational."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Caesars."

"My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on"

"What kind of fish is made up of 2 sodium atoms 2 Na"

"Fun fact: if you took all the arteries and veins in a person's body and laid them end to end... Then that person would die."

"What do you call a ""gay"" milkman? Dairy Queen."