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Joke of the Day

"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"

"Why did Kim Jong Un Instagram his missile? It was the only way he could send it."

"I was seeing this one girl for two months Until she found out I was there."

"If I have to drive more than 5 minutes to find a Starbucks, I consider myself in a third-world location."

"I felt a twinge of sadness when I released my daughter would be leaving for college in a year. I have to wait a whole fucking year"

"Searched for a PI service in my area... Got a delicious apple in the correct geometric shape, but didn't really help me figure out who my wife was cheating on me with..."

"The Harshest ""Yo Mamma"" Joke... Yo Mamma is like a bowling ball... She likes to get picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, then comes back for more."

"I've never grabbed less than fifteen napkins."

"WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS? Me watching recorded TV shows"

"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Just check her arm"