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Joke of the Day

"Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends."

"Whats a mexicans favorite type basketball? Juan on Juan"

"Why do midgets giggle when running through a field? The grass tickles their balls as they run."

"I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here for karma I still do, but I used to as well"

"If Jack helped you off a horse Would you help jack off a horse?"

"eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."

"Have you heard about the two guys who tried to steal a calendar? They each got six months"

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is taco ME: four please JUDGE: we're not- ME: with chips JUDGE: ordering ME: *lips on mic* extra guac"

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles"

"I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime."