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Joke of the Day

"Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends."

"I thought I had lost my porn stash It was right under my nose all along."

"Any celebrities who are thinking of dying soon, please befriend me so I can relate a moving and humorous anecdote when you pass."

"I tried to teach my illiterate nymphomanic girlfriend the alphabet. But she only wanted the D. I'm testing this joke here before i try it on my critics of mates."

"There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."

"My farts are so strong..... I can make bubbles in the shower!"

"Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness model... They hired me as the ""before"" picture."

"What would Donald Trump say if he was Mexican? 'WE NEED TO BUILD A RAMP!'"

"We are all seven Huffington Post slideshows away from finishing a minor task"

"I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation."