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Joke of the Day

"Any celebrities who are thinking of dying soon, please befriend me so I can relate a moving and humorous anecdote when you pass."

"Pi compliment Wow, you look radian today."

"Will we just know how to play the harp in heaven, or do we need to arrange lessons beforehand?"

"Why do artists die early in life? Too many strokes."

"What sound will reddit make when it blows up? Nothing, it's just a website."

"GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns."

"Why is Batman undefeatable? Because he was coached by Liam Neeson."

"Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off the surveillence cameras"

"That's the third time in a week I've woken myself up by farting. One more complaint and they're not gonna let me drive this bus anymore."

"We do apathetic derision better than any nation on earth. Probably. Can't be arsed to find out...and all statisticians are cunts."